Friday, July 27, 2012

i'm pretend....:(

Photos and quotesI can’t stand it when people ask me what’s wrong....cause in life...sometimes,there.something is ALWAYS wrong. It’s like there's no need to ask anymore. But friends just keep on asking. I guess that is a sign that they really do care about just doesn't seem like it right now.
Do you think its easy being me? Do you think its easy putting on the act that I do everyday? I smile when all I want to do is cry... I laugh when all I want to do is cry.. I want to tell everyone how my world falls apart each night when I am laying in bed with tears in my eyes, hope that ALLAH help me. I want to let everyone know what it is like to be me, pretending to be happy... pretending to like myself, If it was up to me, I wouldn't be pretending, I would actually be happy... Too bad its not.
Sometimes I feel like nobody has held me down and forced me to cry, or made me hug them, or seen the inside of me. I just say "Oh I'm fine" and walk away. Nobody's ever said to me "No, you're not”
When you asked me what was wrong I said “nothing”……. After you left I whispered everything.
If you look inside a girls heart, you'd see how much she really cries. You'll find secrets hidden, best friends and lies, but what you'll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong when nothings right and everything is wrong.
. You smile when you feel like crying, you act like you're okay when you're falling apart, but you got to let go and move on...because there's nothing else you can do.
Just because I can force a smile doesn’t mean I'm happy, and just because I can fake a laugh doesn’t mean I'm okay

A strong girl keeps her shit in line, and with tears running down her face, she still manages to whisper the simple words "I'm Fine."
~i'm the girl who are=
the girl who always looks sad but claims she’s fine.
the girl who puts sad away messages up everyday.
the girl who when she sees you, smiles a half a smile.
the girl who always has time to listen to you vent and is willing to give her opinion to help you in anyway that she can.
the girl who cares about helping everyone but herself.
the girl who cries every night before she goes to sleep.
the girl who pretends that she’s okay while she's dying inside.
the girl who says she’s happy for you when you get a new girlfriend while jealousy is raging inside her.
the girl who hugs you when you’re down but secretly wishes she could hug you forever.
the girl who tries to look beautiful even though she knows she’s not.
the girl who says that she’ll always be there for you & means it.
that’s me that is the story of my life
You should know by now that when I smile and say "yeah, I'm fine" it's really code for "no I'm not okay and I feel like my world is crashing down around me"
and   yet she still sits there smiling;;
regardless of all the fake friends.
and  the dreams that were broken.
regardless of the guys she loved
and the hearts that were broken.
I know how it feels
to sit on the edge of your bed
head in your hands
wishing it would all just end...



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